How do you find home?
I sat amidst my childhood yesterday.
There were piles of books, a box full of letters and birthday cards, a bulletin board filled with snapshots of my life, old markers, half completed journals, paintings, clothing, recipe books, the odd glow-in-the-dark star, photography and maps of places I have been. It was chaos.
Oddly, I felt no emotion. No sadness as I tossed now-unnecessary objects in the trash. No regret as once nostalgic objects joined others in the giveaway bag. I was left with a large box of books, letters, a comforter, some clothes, and art supplies. That was it. My life had once again been boiled down to the essentials. I was agile once again.
After living out of a backpack for a year, I had become accustomed to this feeling of mobility.
I have packed up my childhood before. I have painted over old red walls and attempted to erase signs of my youth. But they appear through the paint from time to time and there is still tell-tale signs of adolescence. This time was different.
It wasn’t a doing away of youth. Rather, a laying to rest. My childish ways are still very prevalent. Anytime someones says a fart joke, I find it ridiculously funny. I haven’t truly lived at my parent's house for a while. However, my room there had remained a sanctuary to me. But this time, there was no coming back.
In the chaos of moving, it is easy to forget how to find "home". The compass of comfort becomes skewed when there is change. What I have learned from crossing continents, and sleeping in a different bed nightly is, home is just a notion. You can place it in objects, people, smells, and situations. But if you look hard enough, you can always find it within yourself.
I have two for the week, one just didn't feel enough.
The first is a fantastic article by Dan Sanchez, in response to the election. With the amount of fear, angry, hostility, and hate that is rampant on social media at the moment, this piece was a calming step back from all of that.
The second is another project from the wonderful Hannah Phillips. I already shared her GetHaPy project in a previous post. This time, she has created a scholarship for people who are graduating high school and AREN'T going to take the traditional path to college. If anyone you know fits the bill, you feel like contributing, or you want to read more click here. I will be helping with application reviews and am incredibly excited to be part of this project.
This afternoon, I finally played my violin after a while of neglecting it. Here is a quick sound clip of me playing a couple easy songs (Julia's Waltz by Natalie MacMaster & Crested Hens). I apologize for the occasional squeak.