Week Three: Gratification

How has technology effected millennial dating culture? 

Photo by: Olivia Van Wormer

Photo by: Olivia Van Wormer

This question came about over breakfast; as I believe many great questions do. As we listened to Oldies, my boyfriend and I started discussing the loss of slow love, of courtships, hand written letters, and time spent waiting. I have romanticized these ideas to an extent but there seems to be something decidedly hurried with the way my generation enters into, develops and ends relationships. A frivolous process in which many skip from one insubstantial connection to the next. 

Being privy to the rise of technology has been beautifully bizarre to witness. With instantly accessible information, exponential distraction and pleasure at our finger tips, how has this need for instant gratification changed the way we approach dating? Dating apps, specifically those that are popular with my generation, bewilder me. How can interesting, knowledgeable, young, good looking people need anything but themselves to find a partner? Has it become so difficult to talk to strangers? 

While mulling this over, I realized it isn’t really a desire to meet someone that drives the popularity of these apps but, instead, a momentary artificial reassurance that someone finds you attractive. Not only that, you can fashion yourself into whoever you want to be, to target certain types of people. From there, the whole process is sped up. You spend an undefined amount of time with the new candidate and when they are no longer exciting, move on to the next shiny endeavor. When the relationship becomes difficult, as it inevitably does, it’s time to find a new fish in this vast electronic sea. 

I should take a second to recognize the fact that some of my friends have successfully used these resources to find some fantastic partners. Also, I don’t believe that I should have any say in the way that people date and if they want to spend their time with no one or everyone, exploring far and abroad or remaining celibate. Why should I care how anyone else goes about the process? My unease is based on a concern that we are a generation of cowardly and listless “relationshipers”, people who are unwilling to experience the discomfort, pain and vast growth that can come out of conflict within a partnership. Instead, there is a desire for another hit of excitement and thrill that comes from throwing yourself into a new love. 

My hat goes off to the many who prove this point wrong, who conquer and proceed until the path is no longer worth traversing. At times, it is glorious to be proven wrong. Please feel free to enlighten and attempt to change my viewpoint. 


Perhaps we will stay on the topic of relationships with this feel-good slam poet. I've been exposed to a variety of poetry in my life and, although he might not speak the most eloquent prose, enjoyed the way he expressed this very particular feeling.


Photo by: Olivia Van Wormer

Photo by: Olivia Van Wormer

Disclaimer: I did not "create" this garden in a week. Rather, it has been a summer project I wanted to share.

I have what you could call a "black thumb". I have killed the easiest plants to care for but have always desperately wanted a thriving garden. This summer I was determined so, with the help of a heater and humidifier, managed to grow several seedlings. 

What is currently in the garden: 

What I learned from the process:
-Start the seeds as early in the season as you can.
-The minute you can, start to give the plants several hours of sunlight a day.
-Egg cartons make for cheap seed starters.
-I found the cow manure, biodegradable, pots grew the weakest plants.
-Do your research before you start about which plants are best to grow from seed and which aren't.
-Start with plenty of seeds because, in my case, you will kill many of them.
-The best resource I found, were the employees at the local florist.