Week 15: Stress

Question: 
How does stress appear in your body? 

I have chewed my nails for 18 years. 

Stress is carved into the skin and keratin, scars of calloused indecision. It is automatic. I don’t even realize when my hand starts to move upward, my body in stealthy anticipation of self-mutilation. It’s a rather disgusting habit. 

I am very aware of other peoples hands. Probably because mine are my biggest tell. The show of the battles fought within. They give me away with a precise lack of composure. Between that and my tendency to blush, I am rather an open book as well as a terrible poker player. 

Everyone deals with stress. 

It is a huge motivator. The high frequency I operate at is fueled by the stuff. But it takes an inherent toll. It is a sort of addiction to me. There is a tangible high and obvious low. I’ll ride it up and up as I blast through my to-do list. Then, it is overwhelming and I am useless. 

I have spent hours meditating, filled journals with anxiety, danced the crazy out, and walked until my shoes wore away, battling with this inner demon. I throw antidotes at it like I am trying to put out a forest fire with a fire extinguisher. In the midst of these fruitless attempts to do away with this toxic emotion I realized, I was looking at this war from too far away. I forgot that my body was riddled with the scars of these battles. First, I have to heal these, before I can tackle the rest. 

I am challenging myself to stop biting my nails. I am in the midst of a move, job change, and beginning of the next chapter in my life. Stress palpably hangs about me. This is why it is the perfect time to take this on.  If I can succeed now, I know it will last. 

To hold myself accountable, on the 22nd of December, I will include a picture of my hands for the blog post. 

What stresses can you tackle and ease over the next several weeks? Is there a habit that you have been wanting to change or stop? Stop waiting for the "right" moment to do so and do it now.

Not tomorrow. Not after the holidays. Right now. 

Impact

A year ago, on a trip to Belgium, with my sister, in a random hostel, in the picturesque town of Ghent, we had the fortune of meeting a rather wonderful man named, Kevin. He lives in New York but his passion is the world of photography. He has a beautiful website and fantastic shots of his adventures. If you have a moment, it is worth a look!

Here is one from his latest and greatest adventure in Iceland. 

Create

I completed my first Spartan Race at Fenway. It was ridiculously awesome and I am already excited to do another. In 2017 I am going to do the "trifecta". This means I will be doing 3-5, 8-10, and 12-15 mile races over the course of the year. If you want to find motivation to workout, signing up for a Spartan race, is a great way to get started.